


Nuts and Bolts

by Nectardust



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: (please for the love of Truth do not take this seriously), Crack, F/M, Humor, Insanity, Just for Laughs, More of an analysis of this crack!pairing, No contact, No one could ever say the Fullmetal Alchemist didn't prefer older women., Smile while you vomit at the mere idea, crack crack crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 05:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19457212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nectardust/pseuds/Nectardust
Summary: So, why does Ed visit Resembool?





	Nuts and Bolts

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. OBVIOUSLY.
> 
> Originally posted on FF.net back in 2007. Unbeta'ed and unchanged from original post.

Ed always did return to Resembool to see a certain Rockbell woman.

There weren't many people whom Edward Elric considered close enough to be family, but those he did value with such strong regard were stuck with an Elric tied to them for life. The two automail engineers in Resembool were certainly blessed with the young alchemist's care and devotion, even if said alchemist tended to hide such feelings. Of course, Ed's respect and thankfulness weren't _supposed_ to have morphed into something scandalous and terrible…

…and that "something scandalous and terrible" wasn't _supposed_ to have been reciprocated…

But the comfort, the care, the advice, the guidance, the _familiarity_ …all the mixed feelings and memories from Ed's childhood were put into a blender and thoroughly shaken to uncover one sticky and repulsive truth. That there was something behind the way she always looked out for his well-being. That there was some affection hidden beneath the blatant disrespect in his tone. That there was a slightly new angle to the way they acted towards one another.

He had grown up with her as a constant figure in his childhood. Now she was a fleeting presence during his introduction to adulthood, albeit still a very prominent person in his life, even with such a small stature. He had relied on her after his mother had died, and she had opened arms and house. She had been there the night of the failed transmutation. Afterwards, she had sighed and reluctantly allowed him to search out his own path, even knowing he would turn to the military. Those were just background occurrences, though.

On the surface, they insulted and bantered with one another 'til the sun went down. She scolded him for his misadventures in alchemy, and he counteracted with pointless name-calling. They had always been on comfortable speaking terms with one another. Winry threw wrenches; Pinako threw insults.

But then again, she alone symbolized the nuts and bolts who kept Ed together.

Pinako Rockbell was shorter than Edward Elric.

Ed's hang-up about his height was a major motivational factor that brought about the beginnings of such an odd and unheard of relationship. Considering how everyone except children - and even then there were exceptions - was taller than him, the candidates for romantic involvements were severely limited. Everyone was just so damned tall! If the elder Elric brother wanted someone shorter than him, then all he had to do was pick a child. Any child. But his conscience and morals were greater than his ego, so the Fullmetal resorted to the last available option. He didn't want to take advantage of children. So he went the opposite extreme.

It wasn't only that Pinako was short; there was also the matter of life-experience. Edward had grown up considerably since he tried to bring his mother back, and he felt he needed someone who could relate and understand. There weren't many people he knew who had been through an amount of trial equal to his. Al was his brother and currently a suit of armor. Winry's grief was considerable, but she threw mechanical tools at his head and had already moved on from her loss. Mustang was just…Mustang. The bastard would probably rather set fire to his bed than share his emotional burden with the likes of the Fullmetal. He didn't know anyone else like he knew _her_.

So, by process of elimination, Pinako Rockbell was simply the obvious choice.

No one could ever say the Fullmetal Alchemist didn't prefer older women.


End file.
